Snapper Burlesque

We put out cameras at every table for the rewedding. Most of the photos didn't turn out, but we're sharing all the photos that did turn out. If you're on Facebook, tag yourself.

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Tickets on sale now at Monday Night Tease.

I'm deep into costuming mode for the rewedding. There are things I have to make for myself (corset, skirt, unders & pasties), things I have to make for participants (bras & panties with panel skirts), and things I have to make for the audience (like the toss bouquet I made a couple weeks ago). After some challenges with elastic lace and following a tutorial that didn't turn out as I wished, I finally found a winning formula for the garters.

Yes. That's the Batman symbol because Andrew is Batman in another show, and he's a huge fan of Batman. Why not really personalize the garter? The lace is some leftover vintage lace I was given by a dear friend that I used floral spray paint to color for the trim beneath the ostrich boas on my robe. I bought a roll of 100 yards of aqua ribbon for $8 and have used that for almost everything I've done. The rosette is from an unsuccessful purchase of flowers for snapper finger puppets; the flowers are just too big for the finger puppets. The coral ribbon is from the feather fans I made for Bukowski. I had some elastic in my supply boxes. Once I found the right set of instructions I was able to crank out two in less than an hour.

That's right. Two garters. One is for keeping, and one is for tossing into the audience. I really want the audience to have a great time and to be able to take home memories from this show. I couldn't scrimp on the toss garter.

I hunted eBay for a great pair of shoes with a low enough heel that I could move well in them. I found these dyed shoes for under $12 with shipping included. The description said they were floor samples, so there would be light wear and tear. I don't recall seeing any photos of the glue stains I discovered when I opened the envelope of shoes yesterday. I tried to scrub the spots away with a toothbrush, assuming they were dirt. That didn't work. I then hit them with the tiniest bit of water. That washed away some of the dye. Shit.

You would think that I would know about the care of dyed shoes. Nope. I wore black pleather shoes to all of the proms I attended. I wore white pleather shoes at the first wedding. I tend to wear leather, pleather, or embellished shoes. This is my first pair of dyed "satin" shoes.

So with a little bit of water I fucked up my shoes. Good thing I bought more rhinestones Saturday so I can hide that shit with sparkle. Since the shoes are "satin," I can use GemTac instead of E6000. I wasn't expecting to have this as a chore, so I'm going to try to make the most of it. My plan is to cover the toes and the heels because that's where the damage is. Fingers crossed it works.

Bottom bouquet for me, top one gets tossed.

A few weeks ago I did a web search for silk flower bouquets for sale. I didn't find anything I really loved. I also found that the prices, while appropriate for materials and labor, were not what I wanted to pay. I'm far too crafty to spend $125 for a bouquet that's not as custom as I deserve. I decided to make my own bouquet. While I was at it, I made corsages and boutonnieres as well.

I used this site as a guide for my bouquet. The basic technique is the same for everything I made. You clip all the stems to one length and use floral tape to build around a center grouping. Once the bouquet is big enough, you wrap the stems of the bundle with floral tape then wrap the floral tape with ribbon. I used craft glue on the bouquet then realized it would take forever for the glue to dry so I started using hot glue.







Wrapped in single-sided satin ribbon.


I'm keeping the big, fancy bouquet. I made a small toss bouquet to throw into the audience. I used the same technique and a smaller bundle of flowers. My bridesmaids will all make their own bouquets in the same method. (I don't want them to feel completely left out of the pre-production fun.)











Buster rolled around on the shooting surface before the shot.

The boutonnieres are like tiny bouquets that need room for a pin. I considered making them larger when Andrew said, "It is a burlesque wedding." Then I held the XL version against his shirt and we agreed it was too much. Half of the boutonnieres can accommodate pins, and half have pin curl clips attached to the back. Some of the groomsmen will be wearing outfits that won't work with pins.











Spy Kitten's corsage


I used this site as a guide for the corsages. Again, these are like tiny bouquets. I used the wires in the silk flowers to shape the bundles so they could ride on wrists instead of in fists. Some instructions recommend cutting a hole in ribbon to feed the stems through, then tying the ribbon on the wrist. I don't want to risk them falling off, but they have to fit wrists for which I don't have measurements. I hot glued them to lingerie elastic. I was going to stitch them to the elastic, but I didn't want to worry about them shifting around inside the stitches. Hot glue formed a nice bond so I didn't follow up with reinforcement stitches.







Lili vonSchtupp's corsage


I spent about $140 on flowers, floral tape, butterflies and ribbon. I had the pin curl clips and lingerie elastic in stock at home. I made one large bouquet, one toss bouquet, two corsages, six boutonnieres, and had enough leftover flowers for three bridesmaids' bouquets. It helped that some of my blooms were on sale as seasonal (spring) flowers.

I decided to do something a bit unconventional for the rewedding. Instead of live flower arrangements, I'm getting hair flowers and decorating the club with those. After the ceremony folks can pluck a hair flower and take it home with them.

I have 39 flowers, thanks to my friend Rex the Impossible hitting the swap meet in Vegas last weekend. I just need to get 61 more. Every little favor the audience gets, the more worth the price of admission I think the show will be.

I am all about getting things done early so I'm not crazy at the last minute. It's something I learned in college after so many late night term papers and set designs. (I threw a set model across the room hours before it was due because I was having problems with the material and too little time to problem solve.)

I got mini take-out boxes in two colors to hold the wedding favors. If you know me by now, you won't be surprised that I bought three kinds of samples, took measurements and researched the best way to package everything up. After testing the three sample boxes that made the cut, we agreed on the style and I ordered them in the best colors available (closest to the wedding colors). While they're 'berry' instead of coral and 'paradise blue' instead of aqua, I think they'll work quite nicely. I've started assembling the boxes so I can stuff them when I've finally decided I'm done getting wedding favors.




I ordered the last favor a month ago from China. We were brainstorming about what sorts of favors people would most enjoy when I shouted, "Ooooooh! Cock rings!" That's right. The last favor is cock rings. Cock rings. Cock rings. I just like saying it. Cock rings. And typing it. Cock rings. When I ejaculated, "Ooooooh! Cock rings!" it was a joke. Within two seconds I was all, "Dooooood! Yes! Cock rings. I'm ordering some." I spent hours hunting for an affordable cock ring that didn't have too many bells and whistles (or LEDs or spikes or machinery or garden animals). I had to find something simple, affordable, and available in bulk. It took a month and two trips to the post office, but I'm now the proud owner of 100 pink and purple cock rings. They look like funny gummy finger cots. I'm looking forward to 99 of them being packed into boxes. (I had to keep one for posterity. Yeah, that's the ticket. Posterity. Cock rings.) My guests that don't/can't pack them into their own boxes can use them as Chinese finger cuffs.

Cock rings. (Just had to put it in there one more time.)

My Snapper grooms are finally finished. I used the same process for these that I did for the brides. I embellished them with tiny plastic top hats. I had intended to put bowties on them, but I couldn't find ready-made bows that would work. I tried gluing tiny ribbon bands around the hats, but hot glue is a bit of a disaster when you're working in such a small scale. I then bought tiny ribbon flowers in hopes I could glue them to the top hats, but they were way too big to look right. Next to the brides, Andrew thought they look complete enough. I agree that they make a nice pair.

So how did I make these little finger puppets? I'll tell you because you never know when you'll need a bunch of tiny finger puppets for a fairly low price. I turned every glove inside out and ran a line of anti-fray adhesive along the bottom of each finger. I did one side then the other, then I touched up the sides. Once the glue was completely dry, I cut each finger on or just below the glue line with scissors. The job was a bit too delicate for me to use my rotary cutter. I turned the fingers inside out and hot glued on the features. It's pretty tough to work with hot glue and such tiny features, so I recommend having plenty of patience as you work through any kind of small scale project like this.

I have one more favor arriving for the favor boxes and I think the wedding favors will be complete. I located mini takeout boxes in the right colors on Oriental Trading's website that I'll have to order in the coming weeks. Maybe I can use the ribbon flowers on those.